Letting go of my perfection
Have you ever found yourself listening to and singing a song so many times, yet never really thought of the message that that song is sending to us listeners?
Recently I was listening to different songs from the 80’s, but one song caught my attention. It is ’’Perfect’’ from Fairground Attraction. I have heard this song so many times, and I always felt it was one of those songs that make you motivated and push you when you are feeling down and need some self-motivation. However now, this lyrics is a bit starting to bother me, and here is why:
We are living in a world that is constantly showing us that there are happier places to live, better jobs to have, higher grades to achieve, more prestige universities to attend, better technology devices to use, healthier food to eat, etc. Simply, we live in a world where perfection is possible. However, perfection is very subjective. What is perfect for me, it is not perfect for you.
The chorus of the song’’ It’s got to be perfect…….I won’t take anything less…’’ encourages us that less than perfect is not good, and that we and everyone else, have to be perfect. Verbs ’’have to’’, ’’must’’ and ’’should’’ are often used when we want to achieve certain goals. And if we don’t achieve them we feel sad, guilty, anxious, sometimes depressed and angry. Why is that happening? When you express your goals as ’’ I have to be responsible for 5 projects’’, ’’I have to get more clients than my colleague’’, ’’I have to be the employee of the month’’, your brain receives these expressions as a message, ’’it is an order and if you do not succeed, you are not worthy enough’’.
Many of us grew up in a family where we were told that no matter how well we do something, we can always do better. We were kids still learning about life so we believed in anything adults told us. Many of us were compared to our siblings, neighbour’s children or classmates. We learned that we are valued as a person, only if our parents or other adults are happy with our achievements. We learned to seek perfection, and nothing less.
Over the years I have realized that when I wanted everything to be perfect in my life, I was unhappy, because I was never able to reach that perfection! I have learned that perfection does not exist, so now I am satisfied when I do something the best that I can. I have noticed that since I have accepted that I am an imperfect person, I became happier. Being imperfect, doesn’t mean worthless. In my opinion, it means being unique.
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